


God Ships It

by Mossyrock



Series: Ineffable Husbands Bingo [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Approval of God - Prompt, But She Ships It, Crowley Was Raphael Before Falling (Good Omens), Even the All-Knowing Doesn't Know Everything, God has an existential crisis, God is Doing Her Best, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Sort Of, but not AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-11-02 03:47:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20611961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mossyrock/pseuds/Mossyrock
Summary: God’s plan was truly ineffable. And some things are destined. Even if She didn't plan it to be.For my Ineffable Husbands bingo prompt - Approval of God





	God Ships It

It had been a week since they’d saved the world – and themselves – from extinction. It had been a nice week. London had been unseasonably sunny and warm, no doubt a little gift from Adam. Such a sweet boy – so long as you ignored the fact that he was also the Antichrist.

Aziraphale and Crowley had spent much of the week in the park or at fancy restaurants, studiously avoiding discussing anything too serious. After all, they had the rest of eternity to figure everything out. Probably. The new status quo with their respective head offices hadn’t quite been figured out, but for now, they were safe.

Aziraphale had been reading at his desk – reading the new books Adam had so kindly left for him – and had just made himself a cup of deliciously rich cocoa. He returned to his desk, determined to finish his book, when a note appeared. A floating, golden note that shone and lit the room up like an unnecessary amount of Christmas lights.

“Oh.” His cup hit the ground before he had a chance to miracle it away. The broken bits of porcelain and steaming hot drink spread across his antique rug (not that it was antique to him, what with him being as old as the Earth and everything. But in relative human terms, it was antique). It was going to be a bother to clean.

Not that he cared. He’d been summoned. So soon. He thought they’d been safe, at least for a little while.

His body was reacting as a human's would. Sweating, pulse racing, breathing faster and faster. He was panicking.

He couldn’t say he liked it much.

He did the only thing he could think to do – he rushed over to his phone and called the only number he knew.

Crowley.

“Hello, angel. I was thinking that new Italian café near my place for lunch? 1 o'clock?” He answered.

“I’ve been summoned,” Aziraphale whispered urgently. He wasn’t sure why he was whispering. If Upstairs was listening, they’d hear him no matter how quietly he was speaking.

“But, so soon? Are you sure?” Crowley’s panicked voice only added to Aziraphale’s panic. Crowley was the cool and casual one to Aziraphale’s anxious and cautious nature. If Crowley was nervous, it must be bad. 

“Of course, I’m sure! I don’t think humans send floating letters made of gold,” He snapped.

“Alright. Should we switch again? Or I could come with you?”

“Oh no, dear. There’s no need to put yourself in danger on my behalf.” The idea of Crowley in danger made Aziraphale’s heart clench in a most unpleasant way. He couldn’t bear the thought that Crowley could be hurt because of him. Switching places the first time had been bad enough, but he’d been preoccupied with his own safety. Sitting and waiting while Crowley was in danger and not being able to do anything would be torture.

“Angel, what if they use fire again?” Crowley sounded hurt. His voice was filled with pain and Aziraphale longed to comfort him. But he couldn’t. Time was of the essence and it was quickly running out. A divine summons wasn’t to be ignored.

“I don’t think they will. If it didn’t work last time, I doubt they’ll try it again.” He hoped so, anyway. 

“Unless they figured us out?” Crowley voiced Aziraphale’s worst fear.

“They might have done, but if that’s the case, then sending you up there instead is just walking into a trap.” Heaven could see everything. He was amazed they’d gotten away with their little magic act at all. He didn’t imagine they could get away with it again. And if they’d discovered the lie, they weren’t safe, no matter where they went.

“What will you do then?” Crowley asked. And Aziraphale wished he had a clever answer to give him. But he didn’t.

“I’ll go and face whatever awaits.”

There was a moment of silence, before Crowley spoke again, softly and carefully.

“Angel… Be careful.” A whispered _please_ floated into his mind. But Crowley wouldn’t beg. He was a demon. ‘Please’ wasn’t in his vocabulary.

Aziraphale wanted to sob at the concern and love he felt in that moment. But he had a summons to attend to. Heaven wouldn’t wait much longer.

He took a deep breath. His nerves had settled. Whatever happened, he knew that Crowley cared for him and was safe on Earth.

“Of course, I will, my dear,” His assurances were hollow, but he said them anyway.

“I’ll see you again soon then, Aziraphale.”

“Lunch at the café. 1 o'clock. Don’t forget, my darling.”

He hung up the phone and allowed himself a moment to hang his head and grieve, before he lifted his head again, squared his shoulders and seized the summons in his hand. Everything went white as he was transported Upwards.

* * *

He arrived into the lobby, as normal. He glanced around. There was no one waiting for him. No thugs waiting to punish him. No council to give him a job. Before he could wonder too long, an unfamiliar young, smiling angel interrupted.

“Aziraphale, you aren’t meeting with Michael, Gabriel or the others today. Please, follow me.” She walked away and he shook his head, before jogging to catch up to her.

She led him through corridor after corridor, into the inner area of Heaven. He’d never been this far in before, only being a principality. His job never concerned the Higher Ups. He was surprised anyone this important even knew he existed. But perhaps, after the fire incident, he’d drawn more attention than he was strictly comfortable with.

They emerged into a big space, filled with light, trees and hundreds of butterflies. He worried, walking amongst them, that he might accidentally hurt one, but they expertly fluttered around him, missing him by the narrowest of margins. He looked around, amazed and awed. It felt like Eden – pure and beautiful. 

The other angel stopped outside a door. He’d expected golden gilding and ornate decorations. Instead, they stood before the biggest, most plain wooden door he’d ever seen.

He tried not to be disappointed. 

“Please, go in. She’s waiting for you.” She gave him a small nervous smile, before scurrying off into the trees again. He watched her go before turning back to the door. 

Aziraphale took a deep breath, composing himself, before entering the room beyond. It was an office. A standard, corner office, like in every office building around the world. But unlike every other office, the occupant here was a smiling celestial being. Her hair was a short cropped golden and Her face wore a smile, the type that Aziraphale somehow knew never left Her face. Her eyes held compassion and all the stars in the universe. She was unlike any other creature he had ever seen before.

Also, She was at least 9 foot tall.

And She glowed.

The love and warmth that radiated from the being made Aziraphale stumble. He’d never felt any feeling like it. It washed over him like a warm breeze. 

“Hello, Aziraphale,” She greeted. She gestured to the seat in front of Her desk. “Please, have a seat.”

“Yes, thank you, Sir… Ma’am. God.”

Her smile only grew.

“You may call me Frances.” She took pity on him.

“Thank you, Frances.” He sat, perched on the edge of the seat. It was by far the most comfortable chair he’d ever almost sat on. A cup of cocoa appeared in front of him, which he gingerly took.

“I should be thanking you, my dear.”

He almost spat out his mouthful of the most decadent hot chocolate he’d ever had. It truly was almost sinfully good. God was thanking him?

“Thanks to you, the Plan worked perfectly. Armageddon was averted. All thanks to you and the demon who calls himself Crowley.” Her smile stayed perfectly in place, but his heart began to race again. She knew about Crowley. Aziraphale didn't care if She punished him, but if anything happened to Crowley, he’d just never forgive himself.

“I’ve been watching your work on Earth, since the beginning. I knew you were the right one, from that moment on top of the walls of Eden.”

She’d seen that. She knew. But of course, She did. She was the omnipotent, all-knowing God. She no doubt knew about the flaming sword too.

“I…” He didn’t know what to say. Was he in trouble? She had thanked him. But he had broken all Her rules.

“There’s no need to be afraid, Aziraphale. You are safe here.” He felt a wave of love and reassurance from Her that had him sinking back into the chair, boneless. It felt rather nice. Like being pleasantly drunk in a nice jacuzzi, in a tropical paradise. Warmth from inside and out.

“I appreciate all you have done, Aziraphale. You and Crowley, both. You performed your roles perfectly. Except for one thing…” Her smiling face continued smiling, but now somehow looked puzzled as well. 

“Whatever it was, I’m sorry, God… I mean, Frances,” He stuttered. He longed to fidget, but the cup of hot cocoa meant that his hands were otherwise engaged. So instead he took another sip and a nibble from the chocolate chip biscuit that had appeared on his saucer. It was delicious. Truly, Heaven had the most rich and delicious food he'd ever tasted. Why wasn't every angel indulging? Gabriel was seriously missing out. 

She merely shook Her head and waved off his apology.

“Swapping bodies. It shouldn’t have been possible. How did you accomplish it?” She asked, looking at him as if he had the answer.

“When I was discorporated, I found Madame Tracy and sort of shared her body for a little while, until I could get another body for myself. I suppose it was a little like possession, but I didn't mean it in an evil way, of course,” He clumsily explained.

“Of course, but that’s not the problem. Human bodies, while not particularly strong, are able to sustain a celestial passenger for a limited amount of time. But the body of a demon should have destroyed you. And yours should have destroyed him.” She was musing out loud.

“Then how..?” Aziraphale’d had no idea that they’d been in any danger at all. He’d trusted Agnes and she’d been right. Her prophecies were, as always, nice and accurate.

“I’m unsure. Like how demons can’t walk on consecrated ground without pain or touch holy water without being killed, a celestial body should have destroyed Crowley’s very soul. And his, with the curse of being Fallen, and the hellfire in his veins, should have obliterated yours as well. The fact you managed to do so without even a single negative effect has sent me into a bit of an existential crisis, if I’m being honest.”

“Oh.” Aziraphale had always thought that whoever was pulling all the strings had all the answers. That God wasn’t all-knowing was disconcerting, to say the least.

“The only explanation that I can see is that you and Crowley are actually soulmates,” She said, ever so casually. She was still smiling enigmatically, but he doubted this was a joke. 

He stared at Her for a moment. 

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” He thought he must be hearing things. It had been a very bizarre day indeed. If he were human, he’d assume this was all a dream, but he didn’t sleep all that often, and this felt incredibly real, for something so unbelievable.

He loved Crowley. That wasn’t a shock to him. He’d known for a while now. He had suspected (hoped), especially since the almost apocalypse, that the demon felt something for him too. But to be told they were soulmates made his heart and stomach react like Crowley accelerating from 0 to 100 in a 40MPH one-way street going the wrong way.

He was glad he was sitting down. 

“You and Crowley must be soulmates. There’s no other explanation. Your souls are halves of the same whole. Your bodies accepted the other because you are the same soul." She continued staring at him, kind, but assessing. He felt entirely vulnerable, like She could see his inner thoughts. Perhaps She could.

“Do soulmates exist then?” He dared to ask. He’d always wondered. For the couples who were married for 80 years and died in each other’s arms or those who died of a broken heart. It was rare, but when it happened, Aziraphale had always felt that it was some type of divine intervention.

“They do. For humans. Not all soulmates find each other – I’m afraid I overestimated the capacity for humans to travel, especially back before planes were invented,” She looked a little sheepish at that. “But soulmates don’t exist for supernatural beings. Or at least, I thought they didn’t. Which is why I’m having a bit of trouble getting my head around this.”

“What does this mean, for me… and for Crowley?” He stumbled over his friend’s name, too afraid that he might be in more trouble with Heaven than he had been before.

“It means that you shouldn’t be afraid of what you feel for Crowley. And neither of you will be bothered by Heaven anymore. I can’t guarantee that he is free from retribution from Lucifer and his lot, but he’s not going to be hunted by us. You will remain an angel, with full miracle privileges, and you will still need to do Good. But you are no longer on the payroll, as it were.” 

“I’m free to do whatever I want?” He couldn’t quite believe it. He had hoped that he wouldn’t have to face Michael, Gabriel and the others again, since the whole ‘them almost killing him’ episode, but to hear it from the highest authority felt like a dream come true.

“Yes, within reason, of course," She smiled wider. "I’m sending a few new angels down to Earth to see if they might have the same reaction as you. Though I suspect that you and Raphael were an exceptional case.”

He felt like he had whiplash. 

“Raphael?” He asked. 

“That was Crowley’s name. Before the Fall.” She said, like it was old news. 

“Oh.” Aziraphale wondered why he’d never thought to ask. He’d suspected that Crawly wasn’t his real name. And Crowley had been the name he’d chosen. But of course, he’d had a different name in Heaven, like Lucifer. Suddenly Aziraphale felt he didn’t really know him at all, but apparently they were the same soul? How could that be, if he didn't even know his name?

“But what’s in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” She grinned at him.

“You’re a Shakespeare fan?” He lit up. He’d loved Romeo and Juliet, no matter what Crowley had said. It was romantic.

“Indeed. I liked his work immensely. But,” She glanced at what appeared to be a clock, but barely resembled a clock at all, with thousands of hands on hundreds of dials, on the wall, “I’m afraid we’re out of time. You have a date for lunch, and I have a few new angels to send to Earth. But you can ask me anything. One question and I shall answer it.”

He paused for a moment. His mind raced. He had a million questions he could ask. About the Beginning, before even he existed. About the future. Or he could ask about which humans had made it to Heaven.

But he knew what he really wanted to ask, selfish though it may be. 

“You knew that Crowley and I..?” He trailed off. She smiled indulgently, as if his question didn’t surprise Her at all.

“Would fall in love? Of course.” She shrugged.

The fact that God, an all-knowing being, shrugged, a symbol of confusion, seemed ludicrous to the angel. But it had been a crazy few hours. He was willing to believe anything at this point.

“I meant that we would begin working together, but I suppose that answers my question too.”

“Some things are ineffable and destined to be. You and your demon, you were always destined to be, whether my plan included it or not. Luckily for me, it worked out perfectly. And of course, it wasn’t a coincidence, you running into each other all the time. But, don’t waste anymore time. You might both be immortal, but the sooner you get your acts together, the happier you’ll be. Trust me.” She smiled even wider than before.

“I do.” 

“Wonderful. Good luck then, Aziraphale.”

She snapped Her fingers and suddenly he was back in his shop. His rug was clean and upon his desk sat his cup of cocoa, beside an open book, as if he’d never left. A barely nibbled on biscuit sat beside it. 

He desperately needed a moment to gather his wits again, but glancing at the clock, he knew he needed to hurry if he was going to make it to meet Crowley on time.

* * *

He rushed into the café at exactly 1:03pm. He hated being late, but the circumstances were hardly regular. Crowley was sitting in a booth, nervously playing with a knife. When he saw Aziraphale, the knife clattered to the floor as he stood, seemingly torn between wanting to rush to his side and not wanting to seem like he cared too much.

‘_Oh, my beautiful soulmate_,’ Aziraphale internally sighed. He could feel it, deep in his soul, that She was right. But of course, She was. How had he missed it all this time?

“You’re OK?” Crowley asked. He still stood, hovering awkwardly above the booth seat.

He sat again when Aziraphale slid in opposite him. A cup of coffee appeared before the demon and tea for the angel, along with some pancakes, adorned with fresh strawberries and whipped cream. His favourite. Of course Crowley knew that. 

His heart gave a strange lurch. 

“I’m fine, my dear.”

Crowley was watching him, looking for injuries and waiting for an explanation that Aziraphale didn’t even know how to start.

“It wasn’t Gabriel or Michael. It wasn’t a punishment. Or a job. It was _Her_,” He whispered, trying to convey the holiness through tone alone. At Crowley’s raised eyebrows, Aziraphale clarified, “The big H Her. The top boss.”

Crowley’s eyebrows nearly crawled entirely into his hairline.

“_God_?”

Aziraphale nodded, glancing around the café, to make sure they wouldn’t be overheard. Just in case, he miracled up some background music that would get louder if anyone approached, drowning out their conversation. She’d said he still had miracle privileges, so he might as well use them. And this time, Gabriel couldn’t complain. He felt a little thrill of power at that.

Best not let it go to his head though.

“She wanted to discuss a few things.”

“She didn’t make you Fall, did She?” Crowley asked, clearly panicked.

“We don’t Fall, anymore. It would just give more forces to the other side. No, She wanted to thank me. Us.” He gestured between them.

Crowley was clearly gobsmacked.

Aziraphale wanted to tell him what She’d said, about them working to enact the ineffable plan, but first, he needed to know.

“Your name was Raphael? Before?” He asked. He tried to sound casual, but he knew he’d failed.

“She told you?” He sounded hurt.

“Yes. She didn’t mean to, I think.”

“I don’t like to talk about Before. But yes, I was Raphael.” The venom with which he spat the name felt far more like his snake persona than his human one.

“Is there anything else I don’t know about you?” Again, he tried not to sound accusatory, but it stung, that his soulmate had a past he knew nothing about. Did he not trust him enough to tell him? 

“Angel, why are you asking me that?” He growled.

“I just want to know. Who you were. Before.” It was a testament to their friendship, or whatever their relationship, that Crowley hadn’t just walked away like Aziraphale knew he wanted to. 

“Does it matter? The angel I was then is not the demon I am now... You know me better than anyone,” He whispered, like it was a dirty little secret. But they didn’t have to be. Not anymore.

And really, it didn’t matter. The Before. Before the almost apocalypse. Before the Fall. They were here now, together.

“She said we shouldn’t have been able to switch bodies like we did. She said it should’ve killed us. But it didn’t and She didn’t know why.”

“She didn’t know?” Again, Crowley looked comically shocked. It almost made Aziraphale want to laugh, but it wasn't the right time. 

“She had a theory. She said it’s... Never mind what She said. I’m free. No more jobs from head office. No more rude notes for frivolous miracles. I’m free. And the first thing I want to do is this.” He gently took Crowley’s hand in his trembling one. He squeezed it and looked into Crowley’s glasses, wishing he could see his eyes and willing him to see the love he felt for him. The glasses disappeared with a pop. Neither knew who had miracled them away and neither cared. They gazed at each other. Aziraphale smiled at the shocked look on his demon’s face.

“She knew about us, from the very beginning. She knew we were working together. And She knew that I loved you, probably before I did. But I know it now. I love you, my dear. And I would like to know if you feel anything like that for me?” He’d never felt so brave. Maybe it was having God on his side, or maybe it was having Crowley at his side. On _their_ side. 

“Angel,” Crowley began. He looked away, guilty. Aziraphale sighed.

“Crowley, my darling, please don’t lie to me.”

“Angel. I’ve loved you since almost the moment I met you,” He admitted quietly. He looked as if he was in physical pain at having to admit it, but it was good enough for now. They could work on their communication skills later. Crowley had always been better at grand gestures, rather than simple words. In that, the two beings differed vastly.

“Oh good,” Aziraphale grinned, “Because apparently, according to Her, we’re soulmates.”

The sip of coffee Crowley had taken was spat all over the table, before Aziraphale miracled it away.

“We’re what?!”

**Author's Note:**

> I love the idea of God being a little confused by something. I also have to believe She has a sense of humour (even as an atheist). 
> 
> Also, God was voiced by Frances McDormand. Hence the name. And also, God should have a boring, normal name, I think. 
> 
> I'm not sold on Crowley being Raphael before the Fall, but I just went with it for this universe. 
> 
> One of my other prompts was 'Satan', which I kinda wrote as a sequel to this one. I'm going to post that one next.
> 
> Comments are always appreciated. Let me know what you liked/didn't.


End file.
